14 Deadly Sins of Dating
Great. Thanks, Vatican, now instead of writing a post on the 7 Deadly Sins of dating, I have to write about 14. Do something useful for once!
Anyway, here we go - the 14 Deadly Sins of dating.
1. LUST
Lusting after your partner and acting on it (with their permission and cooperation >.>) is a great thing. Lusting after absolutely everyone and everything…not so much. ‘Lust’ is bigger than simply thinking that someone is hot in my book.
2. GLUTTONY
Gluttony is the over-indulgence of food, drink, or intoxicants. If your relationship is going downhill and your partner is never ‘in the mood’, check your waistline. Have you been over-indulging? It might be time to hit the gym. A relationship is not an excuse to let yourself go.
3. GREED
Ever expected your partner to call you every single day of every single week, without fail? Keep in mind that people need their personal space. Don’t be greedy with their affections and try not to overstay your welcome. Your partner cannot spend all of his or her free time on you.
4. SLOTH
Don’t get lazy. Even if you’ve been going out for ages and ages, remember the little things you did at the beginning of your relationship. Did you buy each other little gifts or write each other notes or actually bother with foreplay? Those things are still nice, you know.
5. WRATH
Revenge may be sweet, but it will certainly turn your relationship bitter. Instead of holding a grudge, talk it out with your partner and set things straight without resorting to spitefulness or violence. The communication will strengthen your relationship in the long run. Learn how to communicate through both words and actions to keep wrath out of your life.
6. ENVY
Jealousy is not a good thing, not even a little bit. Showing that you have options to your partner in attempt to make him or her appreciate you more does not actually show that you have options - it shows that you are needy enough to want to look like you do. If you had real choices and a real social life, you would not need to attempt to make your partner jealous. Your partner would appreciate your time and company simply by recognizing that you have your own life and your own schedule to keep up with.
7. PRIDE
Self-respect is good. Bullheaded pride is not. Being too proud to admit being in the wrong and apologizing, for example, is a great way to send the intimate connection you may have with your partner packing. Don’t be too proud to step down once in a while.
8. GENETIC MODIFICATIONS
Don’t try to lure your partner into a genetic research lab and change stuff around in there. Better yet - don’t try to force your partner to change in the first place. If the change is something a person does not want to make on their own and you convince them to modify themselves, their frustration and spite is likely to make itself known at a later time.
9. HUMAN EXPERIMENTATIONS
Don’t see how far you can stick a gerbil up there, in other words…at least not without your partner’s conscent. And even so, practice good judgement skills. Gerbils bite.
10. POLLUTING THE ENVIRONMENT
Take care of your living space whether or not you live with your partner. Nobody likes to come to a house full of plates of unfinished sandwiches, stained walls, and other messiness. Some of us aren’t very organized, me included, but make an effort to keep your living space clean and appealing, ensuring that your partner will feel good about stepping into your residence and you won’t get sick with some sort of old-sandwich disease.
11. SOCIAL INJUSTICE
Do not embarrass your partner in public. Do not ridicule him or her in front of their friends. Respect your partner in private and public situations and take care not to put him or her down in front of other people. When disagreeing in public about a topic of interest, be sure that you do so in a calm and respectful way. And if it is too big an issue to do so, take them aside and speak to them in private - or even wait until you get home.
12. CAUSING POVERTY
Don’t milk your partner’s wallet for everything he or she is worth.
13. FINANCIAL GLUTTONY
Stingyness is not an attractive quality. I’m not saying you should give your partner everything you have, but remember that if you get to the point of being too cheap to buy him/her a present for their birthday, you’re probably going to Relationship Hell.
14. TAKING DRUGS
Becoming dependent on drugs is sure to put undue stress on your relationship and cause pain to your partner and yourself, not to mention friends and family. Taking illicit drugs to take your mind off of an argument or other issue is only a temporary solution which is likely to blow up in your face in the long run.
Thanks, Guys!
I’d like to thank the DOL related forums for linking to my web site (yes, that means all you guys ;) ), and providing traffic. I’d also like to thank you guys for clicking on my ads and helping me to get paid. I thought after our little fallout, you’d hold a grudge and I’d see a decline in traffic - but really, you guys have been doing a great job! My numbers are still increasing. Thank you, your numbers are much appreciated. Keep them coming ;)
Ruby Room & V8s
Had a shift at the Ruby Room last night, with the bus. It was great. The bus was totally packed almost the entire time and by the end we didn’t even have time to give people tours of the bus because all everyone wanted was polaroids. Shame, they missed out on our awesome empty jacuzzi.
V8s today. I hope the girls who are doing the main event are OK in the rain - it’s pouring down here, thunder and lightning and everything. Not extremely heavy, but pretty darn bad. I’m going to the V8s in a little while with 2 other girls to do the bus again. At least we have cover, I hope the girls don’t get drenched and cold in the rain :(
Chevrolet in Russia
Alright, when it comes to cars, I’m pretty much clueless. Sure, I’m interesed in them and stuff, I had fun changing HHRay’s brakes with him, taking the wheels off, getting all greasy, etc., but when it comes to picking a car for myself all I know is I want something small, inexpensive, and reliable.
One thing I thought I did know about cars is that in Russia an Ukraine - they suck. When we left Ukraine over 8 years ago, my dad was one of the only people to own a car in our neighborhood. It was an old little thing with no air conditioner (well, new at the time, but you know what I mean). Obviously one would expect things to change in such an amount of time, but I could never quite imagine Ukrainian and Russian vehicles being so…cool, for lack of a better word.
And then as I was browing through opportunities on SocialSpark, I see the Chevrolet Europe web site. Clicking on the Russin section of the site opened up a whole new world for me. These cars aren’t looking half bad! I wonder if they have these in Ukraine now as well. Last time I was there they were driving little huffing puffing box looking things.
On second thought, I think my uncle actually owns a Chevrolet - he bought it on his trip to Russia. I’ll have to double check with him.
The Many Faces of Online Dating
First of all, we have to get one thing clear. There are so many types of online dating and online relationships that the actual term ‘online dating’ cannot possibly encompass one thing and one thing only. Let’s see just how many types of internet relationships we can define.
1. Online to Real Life
These are the regular dating site relationships. People introduce themselves to each other on the internet and things move to a real life date pretty quickly. In my opinion, these types of online relationships have a fair chance of working out. After all, the relationship doesn’t stay on the internet for long and soon, the hopefully happy couple is strolling on the real life beach with a real life bottle of champagne in hand, holding their real life hands and singing real life happy songs of love and romance (just describing the ideal situation here, guys ;) ).
I, for one, could see myself meeting a boyfriend online. However, I’d be less hesitant if I met him on a well known dating site rather than something like myspace…with a dating site, you know that both of you are interested in a relationship that is not strictly platonic. I imagine this would make the meeting a bit more comfortable as you don’t have to worry so much about where you stand. It’s a date and both people know it. (And regardless of what PUAs may say, dates are good and date does not have to mean that the guy has to dish out his wallet).
Online to Real Life dating receives 4 steaming soup mugs out of 5 in my book.
2. Mail Order Bride
I say ‘bride’, but I guess it could very much be a ‘groom’ as well. People born in the U.S., Australia, Canada, etc. or those living there from a very early age take their way of life for granted. Meanwhile, overseas, men and women from less fortunate countires are scrambling for a chance at that Green Card or Australian citizenship. They’re willing to do just about anything for a taste of the good ol’ U.S. of A. Including marrying a rich old alcoholic.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m absolutely positive that not all women and men who marry people in countries that are better off than their own after meeting them on “MOB” dating sites are after that citizenship. But boy, I bet you many of them are.
Heck, here’s an example: a guy on mASF (a seduction community forum that gives you the best examples of the worst aspects of PU) openly admits marrying this woman in Australia (I think it’s Australia, anyway) just to get his citizenship and move there. The wife is a crazy person and he is using her only to get his citizenship or permanent residence. He admits to having every intention of sleeping around on her and she is carrying his baby. The relationship is dysfunctional on so many levels. The woman is a nut and the man is an abusive freak (apparently he gave her a black eye once or something). And yet they stay together - her because she thinks he loves her and because she is a needy lunatic and him for his citizenship.
But it isn’t only that - have you ever stopped to think about why an American man would want to sign up to one of those web sites advertising “Sexy Russian Women”? Why? If you can’t get a date in real life, there are plenty of dating sites out there for you to meet someone in your own country. Heck, in your own city. Heck, even in your own zip code. Why would a man be so eager to pay thousands of dollars in visiting fees (cause you know, in Ukraine, it’s basically impossible for a single woman to get a visa to the U.S. to visit a partner whom she is not married to - the partner has to come to her), gifts, letters, actual registrations to these web sites and e-mail addresses? Is it because he just loves Ukrainian women so much? Is it because he despises the attitudes of women in his own country? Because he absolutely adores Russian or Ukrainian or some other faraway country’s culture and way of life and wants to share his life with a woman of Russian descent? Or could it be because he can’t get anyone in his own country, heard myths about how compliant and great and caring Russian women always are, or just wants a sex slave or something?
I do not have a good feeling abot this Mail Order Bride business. Sure, a lot of relationships like these have worked out. Russian woman marries American dude with beer gut whose most attractive quality is his checkbook and they live happily ever after. Just kidding (sort of). Anyway, I’ve heard of these kinds of relationships that actually involve caring and love.But if I was a man looking for a life partner - would I really believe that all these women who are lining up for me want is love and compassion? That them looking for a man who is specifically in the U.S., Canada, or some other such country has nothing to do with finding an easy peasy life for themselves in a country that doesn’t stink quite as badly? No.
And if I was still living in Ukraine, would I really believe that a man sending me long ass letters in English or some crap form of Russian that I can’t decipher is a man of high quality, who is attractive and appealing to women? Honey, if he was as highly qualified as I like a man to be, he wouldn’t be writing letters (probably dozens of identical letters with the names of the womanchanged in each one, by the way), to women on the other side of the world whom he has never even met.
Then again, I guess they could be doing it for the adventure, excitement, and thrill of fusing together with a partner of another culture. Despite the suspicious nature of the whole business, the Mail Order Bride way of online dating gets 2 out of 5 soup mugs from me.
3. Long Distance Relationships
So you dated in real life and one of you had to move for one reason or another. Maybe it’s in another state, maybe it’s in another country, maybe it’s on another continent. Instead of giving up on your happy rainbowy relationship, you decide to keep dating - using the internet and the phone as your main means of communication. You promise to send e-mails, talk on MSN, and call each other every day, with the hope - nay, knowledge - that you will one day be reunited, get married, and have superbabies. Because your love is so strong.
I wish it always worked this way. And I have faith (and evidence) that this actually happens! Sometimes. There is no way to know if your relationship will last. Who knows, maybe you’ll meet a dashing young man who just happened to move onto your street and your boyfriend (who is now in South Africa or some other such place) will meet a nice foreign girl whom he just falls head over heels with. But we hope that this doesn’t happen. And maybe it won’t.
When deciding to go ahead with a long distance relationship, please, don’t waste anyone’s time. If you’re not head over heels in love with each other, why bother? Do you really think that the relationship can still have potential to be that once in a lifetime true love while your partner is miles and miles and miles away if you don’t feel that way already? Doubt it. Make a clean break.
But what about if two people are really, really, really convinced that they are meant to be together? Call me naive, but I believe in this type of love. I believe it happens. Maybe a long distance relationship, based primarily on online and phone interaction can work in this case. In the end, I guess you’ll never know until you try. Relationships take effort and, like it or not, work, to be successful. And I definitely think that sufficient (and then some) effort should be put in to stay together or move together before resorting to long distance dating in the first place.
I don’t believe in the “Women will cheat. They WILL. It’s how they’re ‘programmed’” bullcrap that some PUAs believe. Women have brains and functioning thought processes. We don’t have to be ruled by our instincts and can certainly remain devoted and loyal to the man we care about.
I would definitely be willing to have a long distance relationship with the right person.
Becacuse I have faith that long distance relationships can and do work, but are just as (if not more) likely to end in tears, I’m giving Long Distance Relationships 3 out of 5 steamy soup mugs.
4. Strictly Online
Actually I didn’t know what to even call this one, so ‘Strictly Online’ it is. I think that these relationships just plain suck. You meet online, date online, and stay online. These relationships could also involve long distances. The difference between #3 and #4 is that with Online Purism, you never dated in person before having to separate. Usually these relationships involve dreams of meeting one day, starting a family, etc. etc. It can even get to the point of one person proposing to the other online - before ever even seeing their face in real life. Some people may be able to deal with the lack of physical affection, but I don’t think I can. Not when I’ve never even gotten a chance to see the person…well…in person. This is different from regular long distance relationships because really, all you have to remember your partner by is pixels and maybe phone conversations.
This might work out for some people. But for others, relationships based solely on the internet are just too impersonal no matter how much they might want it to work. Strictly Onlinerelationships get 1 out of 5 steamy soup mugs.
I believe that online dating really can be successful whether you’re looking for a long term relationship or a fling. But, of course, everyone must be careful when interacting with strangers on the internet. You never really know who’s on the other end of the chat window.
Eyes…Drooping…Closed…Sleepy
I’m at my mom’s work, doing some casual data entry shifts. I am so unbelivably tired from last night’s JB shift that my eyes are seriously drooping closed and I can’t open them! Mom brought me some tea and cookies into the office to wake me up a bit so I’m taking a short break.
Last night’s shift was awesome, we were getting swarmed with people and had to switch going between the venue and talking to people to the bus, which was right outside. Back and forth we went. We also got to draw the winner of the JB model car and the guy who won was so nice. I’m so glad he won that thing, he was seriously the nicest guy there - a 45 year old English teacher. He gave everyone roses that night, before winning, and S and I got one each. Apparently he always wins all the random draws at that venue. I bet it’s karma.
Pics or it Didn’t Happen
R: I havnt seen a penis in real life, but I heard they’re not a pretty sight
E: LOL
E: you heard right
L: They’re definitely not up to the level of Mona Lisa xD
R: God should’ve made penises pretty. Which do you think look better - australian penises or american ones?
L: I’ve never really been an expert on genitalia. But I guess you could find out while you’re here
R: Will report my findings at oh two hundred hours.
E: Will be anxiously awaiting to hear your findings. lol
L: pics or it didn’t happen
E: Dare you to post this liz\
E: a
We Should Be Naked
Sometimes I wish that clothes were never invented. Who needs them, really? Modesty is a chore. Where did we get the ridiculous idea that the bodies we were born with are meant to be covered up? And now, thanks to the pressure imposed by society to cover ourselves up, that modesty is instilled into us from an early age. I think if I ever get married or move in with a boyfriend, I’ll take advantage of being able to walk around the house naked.
I bet Keeda wouldn’t like my future nudity, though. Last time I was changing in front of her she gave me he craziest look ever and backed out of the room.
Some Dog People xD
I can’t believe how self-righteous dog people can be. Especially dog people on purebreed forums. I’m a member of a certain Australian dog forum that focuses on purebred dogs, but when signing up, it was clearly stated that people with mixes are welcome to join as well. I love my mutt, but I also love a lot of recognized breeds and the forum seemed to offer a lot of good training and nutrition tips, so I joined.
Recently there was a thread on this forum asking for people’s opinions about breeding dogs that do not adhere to the breed standard (aka teacup dogs, dogs with a certain nose color and fur color, etc.) and designer breeds. Now, I have nothing against breeding mixes - it’s a personal opinion. Breeders who breed purebred dogs can be just as irresponsible as those who breed crosses and there are responsible cross breeders out there.
This thread asked for people’s thoughts and attitudes on a subject, and then the ‘No promoting crossbreeding’ rule was thrown in my face. First, I hardly think that stating my views on the topic is the same as trying to convert people to see the same way. Second, what kind of thought-asking thread is this? “State your opinion, but only if it is so and so?” Nice.
So I offer my personal opinion, which, of course, goes against most of the opinions in that thread. Nevertheless, opinions is what was requested in the first place and I thought people would be mature enough to handle an opinion that differs from their own. I did not reply to anyone, debate with anyone, etc. I simply posted my opinion on the thread.
A girl (she sure acts like a girl, I can’t bring myself to call her a woman) immediately proceeded to reply to my post and flame me about my opinion. Of course, I reply to hers, politely, and then I get accused of flaming when I didn’t say a word to her until she started the debate and directed it towards me.
To keep the argument out of the forum, we continue in PM. In the end, both my and her arguments were becoming redundant. I thought, why am I trying to defend my personal opinion to her anyway? I then proceeded to say that it was nice chatting with her, but continuing this conversation would be pointless. “We’ll just have to agree to disagree.”
This is the PM I got from her in return:
Ditto
Next time, don’t bother posting your pro-crossbreeding and backyard breeding opinions on a purebred dog forum that values ethical and responsible breeding, whose members are heavily involved in rescue and are often left to pick up the pieces of those wonderful backyard breeders
As I said in my earlier post to you, if you don’t like people questioning your ethics and your support of BYB/crossbreeding, then DOL is probably not the forum for you.
I laughed. This little person is telling me what to post and what not to post! Especially in threads that ask for people’s thoughts and opinions! I was amazed at how idiotic one person could be. No, she can’t simply accept that we think differently and both have our own reasons for thinking the way we do - she must resort to insults and talk to me like I’m a lowlife! I wrote my reply in a fit of giggles and made sure that it was just as nice an polite as her own. Something along the lines of sticking her self righteous attitude up her ass.
To those few people who have tried posting and have not passed moderation -
Aw, I thought you guys would totally understand my method of limiting your free speech on my blog! After all, you do it on your forum all the time. Well there’s a rule on my blog - not allowed to post unless you totally agree with me on anything and everything. It should be right in your ball park, I’m sure you’ll understand ;). Rules are rules, as I’m sure you’ll agree seeing as you do the same on your forum. Have fun ranting at no-one, lovies.
A Personal Relationship Revelation
After the JB shift tonight, the supervisor (who is awesome) was dropping me off at home. It was quite a long way from Mandurah to Cockburn, so we had a chance to talk. She lives with her boyfriend and she was absolutely shocked to find out that after a year and 3 months of dating, HHRay and I haven’t said ‘I love you’ to each other. She’s been dating her boyfriend for less than a year and they already live together and have plans to buy a house in the country in the upcoming future.
I guess after mostly hanging out with people who are 2 and sometimes even 3 years younger than me (people from school), I was a bit clueless about the goings on of people who are my age. And now that I work with girls who are my age and in their early 20s, it’s kind of hit me…wow…most of them have been with their boyfriends for ages and there are only a couple of single girls in the whole group. Several live with their other halves and are ridiculously happy and even have plans for marriage! These girls are my age and in one case even a year younger!
It makes me remember that I’m not too young for a serious, committed relationship and thinking about something bigger, that there is nothing wrong with wanting something more at my age. I’m happy right now, but I’m not sure for how much longer I’ll be able to stay in the ‘whatever happens happens, one day we’ll break up because we’re too young’ stage in my relationship. After a while, you kind of want to know if it’s going anywhere or not. I’m sure not everyone feels like this at this age, but hanging out with these girls and getting to know them and their relationships let me know that there are people who do.
